My intention to post a monthly blog about my project fell by the wayside after the last post in November. I’ve been trying to figure out why I couldn’t get myself to sit down and write. I tried to sit down and type several times but nothing tangible came. Every time I did manage to do some writing it came out as very factual. And incredibly dull. Eventually in early February it finally came to me why I’ve been finding it such a challenge.

I’ve been at the point the last couple of months where there has been a shift in focus with the project, from taking photos to planning the exhibition of the series. It’s quite a funny feeling, this  switching of modes. It’s a little bit jarring but it’s also, and mainly, really very exciting. And busy and stressful. 

But I really wanted to share about the lead up to my first exhibition for the 'Where the Red Kite Flies' series so I somehow had to find a way out of that feeling of writing stuck-ness. I thought about what has helped in the past and came up with a few steps:

1) Re-watch a video class on Skillshare about Creative Essay Writing by Roxanne Gay. I watched this last year and I remembered how much it inspired me the first time and then lead me to read two of her books. 

2) Get inspired by other photographers' work, which has the added bonus of taking me out of my 'exhibition planning' head. I listened to a Podcast interview with my favourite Emmet Gowin (Modern Art Notes Podcast) and a Podcast on another all-time fav Francesca Woodman (The Great Women Artist Podcast). 

3) Ask for help.

The first two were easy and enjoyable but the third is a tricky one for me.

When I first moved next to the eco village in 2011 I hardly knew anyone there and invited myself to hang out with the volunteers who had also recently moved there. They were based in ‘Shanty Town,’ a group of caravans and converted vans that circled the field in front of the community hub building that they were there to build. For reasons I can’t quite remember, the term ‘freeloader’ kept being brought up. It was a new term to me and from then on I endeavoured to make sure that I would not be a freeloader. Or be seen to be a freeloader. I then took this too far and became useless at asking for help when I needed it or even accepting it when it was offered.  

Very slowly, I’m getting a bit better at asking for help. This has partly come out of necessity, such as when my compost toilet in Wales had its roof blown to pieces in The Great Storm of last April and it was a two-person job to fix. My brilliant neighbour and friend, Keith, came to the rescue and I actually think that by asking him for help it’s helped him to ask for help in return. But since we’re both rubbish at asking for ‘help’ we have decided to call it ‘collaboration’.

I’m lucky that when I do get stuck with my writing I have my friend Lizzie to call on. She has been my trusted blog proofreader for the past year and I couldn’t tell you how many times she’s helped motivate me to keep writing.  A conversation with her this morning brought about my idea to write a blog post about not being able to write a blog post. 

Help is good. It’s a bloody good thing that I am getting better at asking for it because I could not have done this project without so much help and also collaboration. I’ve also realised the importance of paying someone else to do the things that they are skilled at, which meant getting someone involved to do my high res negative scanning and another person to do my exhibition printing and mounting.  

The first exhibition starts at The Courtyard in Hereford next week on Friday February 17th. Going way back to my post “Holding back” from April 2022, I’ve continued to find the balance between sharing and not sharing work from the project extremely difficult. I think for the most part I’ve just shared it with the people involved in the project, sometimes sitting down together to go through the recent photos that have come back from the lab, discussing which ones we like, which ones feel like a representation of who they are, etc. I am so looking forward to sharing the 43 photos that will be in the Courtyard exhibition, and the captions that the kids have written to run alongside them are genius. I'll sign off with a caption written by Matilda for a photo of her and her dog Coco:

"I adore this photo because I adore Coco. I did everything in my power for my parents to buy me a dog, and it was moving to Wales that meant that finally happened. I used to take leads on walks pretending there was a dog attached, proving to my mum that I would take the dog on a walk every day. The irony is, of course, I did not take my dog for a walk everyday and my parents in fact did end up taking care of her more than I. I do feel guilty about this, but obviously not guilty enough otherwise I would have cared for Coco more."

Credit where credit is due:

Negative Scanning by Joseph Charles
Exhibition Printing and Mounting by Alec at Fresh Aire
Frames by Joe Banks

Thank you to everyone who sponsored a roll of film in 2022. I've finished running this now that my focus in primarily on exhibiting the series (though I will still be taking photos).  I'll be coming up with a new print sale that hopefully meets the fun randomness of the 'sponsor a roll' (ideas for fun randomness most welcome).